For The Internet!

I couldn't sleep last night because I took Sudafed before I went to bed, so naturally my mind was running at 1,000 miles per minute. Aside from having my weekly existential crisis, I also got to thinking about how tired I am of living for the internet.

I should've gotten up and started writing straight away, but I didn't want to wake my boyfriend up and I also wanted to just fall asleep because I'm absolutely terrible at waking up in the morning for work (though more sleep doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to wake up early). So please forgive me if the what you're about to read sounds like mindless garbage.

Now when I say living for the internet, I mean basing the majority of my decisions on whether or not it's worth sharing on social media or even here on my blog. For example, when I'm trying to choose my next vacation destination, I find myself thinking of what place would produce the most Instagram-worthy pictures and what would elicit the most comments on Facebook. Can we all just stop for a second and think about how sad and inauthentic, and might I add exhausting, that is?

I long for the days when I could go out and do something or go somewhere without having to think of how I could possibly turn a lunch date or a simple hike into a post. It's not that I can't do it now. I'm not obligated to post anything on the internet because I don't do this for a living. What I would really like is to turn that part of my brain off. I don't want to have to ask myself, "Am I doing this because I want to do this or because I think it'd make for a great photo-op?" Do I even really like pie* or did I just want to show people that I went to Pop Pie?

Another part of the internet that I don't like is the need to announce or address every major issue or event on our social media accounts. I don't want to feel like a bad human for not posting something on Instagram on someone's birthday or anniversary, or commenting on their post. I'm also sick of trying to romanticize everything or turning everything into a photoshoot. It's overkill and I'd like to be able to relax and enjoy the moment I'm in.

My feelings of apathy towards web relations doesn't mean that I look down on how you use the internet. I really don't care what you use it for.

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. This is me expressing my disappointment and anger towards myself over something I have complete control over. Please don't get me wrong, I fucking love the world wide webs. It allows me access to basically all the information I need to learn so that I can play along to Jeopardy every night at home and I've met some amazing and wonderful human friends because of the internet. I also learned how to do my make-up from watching videos so high-five internet!

I think I'm just having a hard time reconciling my social life with social media.


*Don't be an idiot, of course I actually like pie. It's food.